September 15, 2010

i want you to know that, i love you.

my holidays are coming to an end :(  i must say, i really enjoy my mid-semester break this time. it feels... refreshingly different. having different groups of people to hang out with, meeting new friends, letting go the old, going to same places with different people... sighs. holidays are good, because you only live, eat and grow fat :) well, this time around, my holidays are actually fully utilized as compared to my previous times. I have traveled so many times in a week that i am sick of it. Nevertheless, it was really worth it. I wouldn't miss the opportunity to bond and build new relationship or even strengthen the old ones, because I simply love each and every one of them.

Anyways, the fact that I love my cell group members a lot, I have chose to spend my Raya with them. We made a trip to Malacca and I must say, I treasure each and everyone of them so much. Thank you, e7 for giving me the chance to be apart of you and for accepting me :) You people brought so much joy and laughter to me, that my eyes grew smaller & smaller. God loved me so much that he placed me there, with you people :)

& then of course I love how much closer I've become to all my high school friends who I've been befriended for years. Every yum char session with them made me feel more connected to them & had me discover something new about them. I really like it when all of us always sit and talked bout the past, make fun of it and then realize all stupid things we once did. I liked it when we talked bout fights long time ago, our bitching sessions and even our crush on this boy or that girl. I really liked it :) It made me treasure every single one of you even more, it made me love you much deeper, it made me feels like I am really blessed that God had placed me at the right place. Every friendship, every bonding sessions I've made are all dear and special to me that I wouldn't want to replace any of you. & that is why I remember most of the things we shared, promises we've made, and little secrets we swore to hid for the rest of our lives. this is why i have always boldly tell you people that i love you, because i really do and i want all of you to know that :)


And to some, I have chose to ignore and slowly let go. Life is definitely too short for me to linger on, waiting for you to at least remember that I was your friend & pretend that I still want to honor you, and treat you like before. I am moving on & letting go because today, you have shown me that you have never taken me seriously or even bothered. You're not a terrible friend altogether, but maybe, we have different needs. What you think is right, sounded completely wrong to me, what you see is real, looked completely awful to me and what you believe was the truth, I believed otherwise. We are lucky that we were once so close, and we have put up with each other for such long years. As we drifted apart and allow time to fill in the gap in between, our friendship slowly falls apart too. You've changed & I certainly did too. I guess this time around, we have problems accepting the change we had within ourselves. Or maybe, we are just too tired to just fight for this relationship anymore, because every fight we made are just pointless. Well, I know I do feel that way.  You've took me for granted, you treated me as a joke, you lied to me, you replaced me. I wouldn't blame you. Because at least now I know that that's the end of the friendship, and hopefully a better, new beginning will commence. Hence, to you people, a toast for the great friendship we once had :)

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