September 11, 2009

The world I know seems peculiar

I like the list of acoustic songs I am slowly collecting now. I like how the strumming of the guitar and the gentle paced melody makes me feel calm. Everything fits even better when Jack Johnson sings. Sigh. I have been a zombie for the past week. I shall not fret about it because I know it's all worth it in the end :) I will step up and start shining. It's my time now. And more sleepless night to come because I want everything to be perfect. Every morning my eyes sting because it demands for more rest. But then again, my perseverance will reward me.  Two essays, one quiz, one major presentation and shooting/editing video awaits me next week. I am somewhat excited about it? :)

This semester is so so larh. I have been hopping around the different cliques in my class. This gang, and that gang, and then this gang again. At least I know there's some good classmates around, even when your closest friend decided to turn his back on you, even after all the effort. Oh well, people change. Even if you think you know that person inside out, they still change. The trust, the love, the bond, the memories. Now, I learn to say goodbye to everything I knew.

I want to smack you into pieces and plant your head at Mars.  If you really enjoy talking bout me, go ahead and broadcast it live on the cable then. Why wasting time telling it to others and then play in angel in front of me. Err hello, please don't act like you really know me when you really don't  And please, if you think you're  blessed with a very pretty face, you need to dig your brains out. The worst is when you really open your mouth and started yapping. It's really annoying. I mean have you tried listening to yourself? I'm sure you didn't because you even look like you don't own a mirror. Stop all the innocence act  & words you enjoy telling to  every stranger just to make yourself look good. Don't you get tired talking trash bout me? or even talking bout me? Well, I cannot blame you if you don't, because that's all you're good at. You have no idea how much I would love to not loath you. But every single day, you made it even harder for me to not loath you. My hand should have landed on your face previously, when you were so emotional and had fund spilling the entire blames on me.And I did nothing, not even a single defend from my side. Let me remind you just in case you forgot what you did/ or even still not realise. all the trash talk, the twisted fact, the gossip, the bullshit lies, the cynical remarks. A round of applause for you for being a wonderful manipulator. Sorry, if you think I am writing this out of jealousy, err hell no. You are the last person I would envy. This finally comes out because you are just that loathsome and urggh to me. I don't mind even if this takes me a step closer to hell. I just regretted that I failed to defend myself when I had to because I was trying to be bigger person, the understanding one. But now, you're stepping all over me.
I have never loath/dislike anyone to this extent before. You definitely broke the record by being the first. T here, I honor you with a ticket to Mars. I beg you with all my might to take it.Forgiveness has never took me this long, and this hard.You truly provided me a challenge in the mannerism of forgiveness. 

I need sleep. Another sleepless week to come. My eyes get smaller everyday.
Yen can do it, hopefully.

2 comments:

  1. sabar~ steels need to go through the fire to emerge stronger!

    ReplyDelete
  2. can your eyes go any smaller? weehee! smack me!

    ReplyDelete